Ready, Set, Go: Cullens and WalMart Bingo
by Just Another Pathetic Fangirl
Summary: Emmett and one of his crazy ideas. Oneshot!


**Hi! I got an e-mail with a Wal-Mart bingo card on it and I started laughing! It was so true! I thought it was something Emmett and the Cullen's might do. If you want to see a bingo card, the link is on my look up. Enjoy my oneshot.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't be on _FAN_fiction, would I? I don't own the walmart bingo card idea either.**

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Emmett Pov

This whole 'immortal' thing was getting a little boring. I mean seriously? How are you supposed to live forever with nothing to do? I decided that I'd google Wal-Mart to see if they were selling anything cool. I mean Wal-Mart is always selling something cool. Maybe I'd replace all of Alice's clothes with ones I buy from Wal-Mart. I could totally picture her face.

Something had just caught my eye. Wal-Mart Bingo? What's that? I clicked on it because my curiosity was sparked. This had to be one of the funniest things I had ever seen!! I burst out laughing. We had to try this!

"Family meeting, please. Like NOW!" In my anticipation, I ran to the dining room.

"Emmett! You interrupted Rose and me! We were planning Black Friday's shopping trip!" Alice complained.

It turns out I had interrupted Edward and Jasper's chess match, Esme's design planning, Carlisle was helping Esme because he didn't have to work today, Bella was ,of course, reading, and Jacob was playing dress up with Nessie so it looked like he was the only one grateful forthe interruption. I took loads of complaints, but they didn't matter.

"You guys, just hear me out on this before you say no..."

"Well this can't be good." Jasper muttered.

"Shut it, Jasper, I found the most entertaining game ever! It's Wal-Mart Bingo!"

"What?" They all said. They obviously had not understood how great this is.

"Wal-Mart bingo!" And with that, I passed out all the cards I had printed off earlier. "We go to Walmart and try to find all of these things and whoever gets five in a row first wins!"

"I don't know." "No way!" "Ehhh... No." "Why should we?" No one wanted to... This sucks, but my spirits were lifted when Esme stepped in.

"I think we should go." Esme said.

"Mom, you can't be serious!"

"No, I am. We should do this for your brother, plus if we did it in teams, it would be a great bonding experience."

"GO MOM!" I bursted out! I mean, I never thought Esme would agree!

"Fine, then I get Bella!" Edward said.

"Sorry sweetie, but I think we should do random pairings. I mean we've always spent a lot of time with our mates, so I think we should each bond with other members of the family."

Edward's face fell and Bella gave Edward a small smile to let him know she didn't like it either.

"Okay I'll write down each name and place it in my hat. Let me just go get a pen and paper."

While Esme left there were murmurs of "Thanks, Emmett."'s and "I'm going to kill you, Emmett!"'s and other various death threats. I just stood there and smiled at them.

"I think we should have a little extra incentive, Darling. It seems as though everyone is not in a very friendly competition mood." Carlisle said when Esme came back into the room.

Once again, there were more complaints and these people were starting to bring down my high spirits.

"Stop complaining. If you were in a better mood, you might be able to make this fun. Now... let's see... The losers have to...." Carlisle began.

"... Serve the others for one week. So really you and your partner don't have to be first, you just have to not be last." Esme finished.

"Now let's draw partners. Since it was Emmett's idea, he can go first."

"SWEET!" I hope I get someone good, I hope I get someone good, I hope I get someone good!

I carefully reached my hand into the hat, as if it might eat my hand. And then from the hat I drew the name...

Alice was written on the small piece of paper in Esme's elegant script. "AWESOME! I got Alice!"

"Why is that so cool? I mean, it's not like she'll see these people. She has no idea wh o they are so why should she see their future?" Jacob asked. I replied, shocked, "You may not have been in our family long, so I don't expect you to understand, but Ali can be vicious, especially if there is servitude on the line."

"She'll see herself finding them, so she'll know who to look for. Plus, Alice isn't afraid to fight dirty." Edward said, and I knew what he meant. Ever since five minutes ago when the opportunity to be waited on hand and foot I could see the plans forming in her head.

Jacob laughed, but everyone else looked grim, knowing the truth in that statement.

"Jake, you can pick next." Carlisle said. He said it in a way that made me kind of think he was only doing this for Esme.

"I got Jasper?" He said it as a question. I could get that. I mean the most I've ever heard them say to one another is 'Could you tell Bella that I'm taking Nessie to the park.' and 'Umm... Sure.' Maybe my idea was good for 'family bonding' or whatever Esme said.

"I'll go next." Bella volunteered. I'm sure she was excited that Edward's name was still in the hat, but she was just as happy that she drew Esme's name.

Nessie was going to play so we had even teams, and I'm sure she could do it. I mean, come on! I'm sure she is just as smart as me. She looks likes she's ten, but is really only four. She wanted to be like her mom, so she drew next, and she was excited that she got her grandpa, and Carlisle softened a little once he realized he'd be spending the day with his granddaughter.

That left Rosalie and Edward together! Oh this was great! They were both such sourpusses that they would surely fight all day! No way could we lose with them working together!

Edward glared at me. I wasn't sure if this was because this entire thing was my idea, or that I had mentally called him a sourpuss.

"Excellent! We can start! Everyone grab a camera!" I had a plan.

"Why?"

"We obviously need to document our findings, or else we would just cross off the squares with out finding anything and say we were done. This way, no one cheats. If you cheat, you lose."

"Wow, Emmett. That's actually a good plan, I'm surprised you thought of it." Jasper is such a tease.

"Shut it. Grab a camera, a bingo card, your partner, a cell phone, get a car and go. Text everyone when you are done. The games begin when I say go..."

"Wait Emmett, What about..."

"Ready Go!" Chaos then ensued. Alice saw that I planned that because she had already grabbed the stuff we need. "GET IT THE CAR, EMMETT! I'M NOT SERVING ANYONE THIS WEEK!" Dang I'm glad I chose Alice, who had hopped in the driver's seat of her Porsche. I hopped in and while everyone else was grabbing their stuff, we were on our way to Wal-Mart.

Jasper POV

Dirty rotten cheaters. They're probably already at Wal-Mart. I wish I was with Alice, but instead I'm sitting here in a car with Jacob, making awkward conversation, and constructing our plan.

"Let's try by just looking for the things in column one. They all look fairly simple and two of them we can find in the parking lot." Jacob actually had a good plan. Until it got even better.

"We can actually get three done it the parking lot." Then he pulled a rebel flag t-shirt out from under the the car.

I couldn't help myself. I just had to laugh. "Dude why is that under the seat?" I managed to get out.

"I actually put it there hoping someone would find it and ask Edward why he had it in one of his cars."

"That is hilarious. Put it back later and I'll 'find' it afterwards." I'll have to hide my thoughts from Edward.

"We have a deal. After I park, just convince someone to wear it, with your weird mood changing thing."

We pulled in and I asked a young woman to wear it and pose for a picture. I guess being a vampire has its perks because it didn't take a whole lot of convincing. I could feel the lust rolling off her in waves. It was rather disturbing.

Afterwards, we set out for a dirty diaper when actually we just took one out of the back of the car. We still had some from when Nessie was younger. She never used them because she aged quickly. I guess we never really got around to returning those. When we walked into the store, there was a box of kittens sitting outside with someone trying to give them away. We had three out of the five we needed. This was cakewalk, and Jacob was brilliant with his scheming. After all, the rebel t-shirt and the diaper was his idea.

Alice POV

"I hate Jacob!! I can't see anything because he's in Wal-Mart!" I ranted to Emmett for the thirteenth time. We had decided to just find whatever we could find and hope for the best. So far it wasn't working. All we had found was the box of kittens when we had walked into the store.

I was waiting behind this older woman with absolutely no fashion sense when Emmett pointed out the Free Space. I snapped a photo of this lady and with that, Emmett and I asked her to move oh so politely. We continued on our not so merry way, trying to find more Bingos.

Edward POV

I was trying to scan minds to hopefully find the things we were looking for. We had decided to focus on Column 2 and had found a couple of the things: child with out shoes and someone using a voice box, which I was surprised we found the latter so quickly. All I could hear in my mental scanning was how Rose was angry about this entire thing and how she was cutting Emmett off from their err... activities.

"Rose, shut your mind up." I growled at her. I wasn't happy either, but at least I wasn't such a brat about it.

"Sorry." I forgave her. She sounded like she meant it. "It's okay."

_Eww... gross! I just bought these clothes! _I turned my head around trying to find the source of this thought. What looked to be a young mother was holding her baby when he spit up down her front. I pointed this out to Rose.

_Well I guess there is a downside to motherhood. _I never thought I'd hear Rose say or even think that seeing as she wanted a baby so bad. I took the picture and we continued with our hunt.

To make matters worse, I received a text that had said, _WE'RE DONE! IN YOUR FACE, BLOOD SUCKERS! :P, _from Jacob. I'm sure he had sent a modified version to Esme and Carlisle's groups.

"We have to hurry! Jasper is done." I told Rose. We picked up our pace.

Bella POV

I was enjoying my day with Esme. We hadn't had a whole lot of mother/daughter time and this was actually really fun. We started out just finding whatever, and we even found someone with puke on their clothes the same time as Edward, but after we had found four of the things in the last row we decided to focus on finding a pregnant woman with a tramp stamp. We went to the baby formula isle figuring that was the best place to start our search.

Lucky for us, baby formula was on the top shelf, and there was a rather short pregnant woman reaching for it on tip toe. Her shirt had ridden up just far enough to expose a butterfly tatoo just above the waist band of her jeans. I snapped a picture of it, and Esme felt bad so she went to help while I texted everyone about Esme and my accomplishment. We were second to Jacob and Jasper.

Esme and I headed home to find Jasper and Jacob playing video games. They looked like they had been friends for years, maybe this was a bonding experience.

Nessie POV

Grandpa and I were finding all sorts of interesting things! We were having a great time and were almost down with column three. We just had to find a family wearing all NASCAR apparel, so obviously we went to the sporting goods section of the store. We found a small family, but a family wearing NASCAR clothing. The baby was really cute because he was wearing a mixture of Cars and NASCAR. I pointed this out to Grampa and he texted the remaining two teams: Daddy's team and Auntie Alice's teams.

Rosalie POV

Gosh darn it! I knew Carlisle and Nessie would beat us. The two of them are just too smart. Edward read my mind and silently we both went faster trying to find the last thing on column two. It was time to start playing dirty because there was no way I would serve anyone this week.

I went up to a small child. She was sooo cute! She had red hair and lots of freckles. She was looking at a candy bar. Her mom was checking things out so I went up to them.

"Hi. My name is Rose. I'm taking pictures for a class. Would you mind if I took a picture of your little girl's bare feet?"

"Umm... Sure?" Her voice was questioning. She believed me, though.

The little girl took off her flip-flops and stood there. So her mother wouldn't object, I didn't get her face in the picture. If I were a mom, I wouldn't want some stranger taking pictures of my little girl.

They were leaving, so I quickly bought the little girl the candy bar she had been looking at. "Here. Take this as a thank you." Her eyes lit up and I was overcome with how cute she was.

I left and saw Edward's text. _You lose!_

We went home to wait for Emmett and Alice. Everyone was waiting for the next to last place people, which was us. There was cheers when we walked into the room! I had a feeling everyone wanted to torture Emmett for coming up with this idea.

Emmett POV

"I hate you, Emmett!" My pixie of a teammate exclaimed.

"Why?!" I honestly had no idea.

"We just lost." She showed me her phone which had a text from Edward.

We made our way to the car in silence. We made our way home in silence. We walked in the door in silence. For Alice it was angry silence towards me, and for me it depressed silence. I thought for sure we would have won.

"Ready for your torture to begin?" Eight voices chorused together in sync.

"I hate you, Emmett."

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**Review or I will eat you. I don't care if you hated it, it's still nice to hear from you.**

**Luv, **

**Gentry**


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